Handling difficult conversations

Did you know that creating a work culture and fostering a team environment at work require skillfully managing unpleasant conversations? These problems could divert the team’s attention from the objectives if they are not addressed right away.

Handling difficult conversations and perhaps embarrassing talks need to be handled carefully and with the right strategy. At work, there are many different kinds of tough talks. These could have to do with performance concerns, personal problems, workplace disputes, or unfavourable criticism. Supporting employees requires being able to deal with these problems, which they encounter regularly.

It’s critical to know how to handle a challenging subject in a one-on-one meeting at work. It is anticipated that the effective completion of these responsibilities will support the workers’ ongoing professional development.

Why managing difficult conversations is important

Conflicts will inevitably arise in the workplace from time to time because employees are all unique and have various working styles. The way you handle these kinds of circumstances is what matters most.

Although having difficult talks can occasionally be necessary, they usually result in beneficial outcomes because ignoring problems and failing to find solutions can ultimately lead to larger confrontations at work.

When managed well, tough talks can foster a more positive and transparent work environment, encouraging everyone to feel comfortable bringing up concerns.

Our relationships, both personal and professional, can be impacted by difficult conversations. For some great advice on handling tough conversations in a relationship, check out our linked post.

What are some common reasons for difficult conversations?

According to the search results, some common reasons for difficult conversations include:

1. Dissonance between how one feels and the action they are taking. This can lead to emotions like fear, apprehension, and guilt.

2. Avoiding emotional discomfort and short-term pain, even though it leads to long-term consequences. People try to avoid the emotional distress associated with difficult conversations.

3. Difficulty controlling emotions under stress or pressure, and a tendency to “people-please” or “not rock the boat”. This can stem from a lack of effective communication or conflict resolution skills modelled in one’s upbringing.

4. Saying “no” to someone in power or someone you respect, as it can be difficult to go against their priorities.

Here are a few tips on how to handle difficult conversations at work

Having tough but crucial talks with staff members is a crucial aspect of being a manager. It is anticipated that these pointers will help you organize and structure your effort:

1. Set a productive agenda

Establishing a constructive agenda is crucial for carrying out a fruitful one-on-one meeting with the staff member.

The goal of the one-on-one conversations is to open up communication between the two people to reduce tension. Rather than being intimidating or combative, the agenda that is conveyed to the employee must be forthcoming and positive.

Saying something like, “I’m interested in hearing your perspective on the various ideas that surfaced during our most recent team meeting,” is preferable. Can we talk about it during our upcoming one-on-one? Instead of saying, “We need to talk about what happened at the last team meeting,”

You can find the ideal answer with Springworks’ Engagement Solutions if you are having trouble creating a productive schedule.

2. Do not mix facts and feelings

Facts and sentiments should constantly be distinguished from one another. First, mentally separating the two is a good method to approach it.

Establishing a fact block with all the components that are known is the initial step in this direction. The next stage is to group all of the unknowns, assumptions, and preconceptions into a single block.

In what direction do you want the conversation to go? What do you hope to get out of this discussion? These are crucial questions that will aid in getting ready for the discussion and completing the necessary assignments.

Another way to go about it is to consider what guidance you would offer a buddy who was facing the same problem as you or the employee by putting yourself in their shoes. It’s crucial to prepare for the meeting with some notes and materials, but it’s also crucial to avoid going overboard.

Before the one-on-one meeting, always go over your notes and file, and make sure you understand how it will help with the current problem.

3. Encourage honesty

The purpose of these one-on-one meetings is to address difficult subjects and issues. Establishing ground rules early on is preferable.

The worker must sense that you are interested in hearing their perspective and are not merely there to cross something off your list of things to do.

Having these conversations regularly is another method to foster an atmosphere where candour is valued, as opposed to avoiding handling conflict or unfavourable criticism.

4. Develop understanding beyond policy

Declaring the company’s policies in response to an employee’s arguments while dealing with challenging talks at work isn’t always the best course of action.

The goal is to make sure that the worker feels that the management is interested in their opinions and is willing to listen to them when they leave the room.

Developing an awareness of the general outlines of the professional relationship and work culture requires the management and employees to establish an atmosphere of empathy and openness.

5. Look for teamwork in finding the solution

Having specific action items in mind is crucial for these one-on-one talks. Examining the employee’s and manager’s action items and choosing a course of action is one approach to go about it.

Setting realistic expectations for the following steps and encouraging teamwork in solving problems together are two examples of challenging discussion activities.

Arranging a follow-up meeting could be a smart way to make sure everyone is on the same page regarding expectations and to have a plan of action.

6. Look at the issue from their perspective

It’s simple to become mired in your emotions, particularly if you’ve experienced hurt or are uncomfortable about something. However, attempt to place yourself in the other person’s shoes and view the situation from their point of view before drawing any conclusions. You may consider asking yourself:

  • What are the five possible explanations for the person’s actions?
  • Is this completely out of character for this person, or have they ever spoken or done something like that before?
  • Is there anything else in their lives that could be a contributing factor?
  • Was there anything I did that might have upset, puzzled, or wounded them that could have contributed to the situation?

Individuals act and speak for a variety of reasons. Not everything is about you.

7. Look after yourself

People who are having difficult conversations may occasionally become quite emotional, hurt, furious, or confused. Taking care of oneself should come first.

It’s acceptable to take a break and allow everyone to calm down. If there is more to talk about, decide to return later. Make use of this opportunity to unwind and switch off. Take a stroll, enjoy some music or a podcast, practice meditation, or have a positive conversation with someone.

You might also speak with a peer worker or someone else who has probably experienced something similar. They can provide understanding, support, and assistance in determining your next course of action. You can schedule a free text-based session with ReachOut PeerChat here if you’re eager to talk to someone.

Recall that you ought to feel proud of yourself for initiating this discussion. It requires a great deal of bravery. Your abilities and confidence will increase each time you get over your fear and complete the task.

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